Sitting with Emotions

 When Persephone needs help in the Blue Meadow, when she is struggling with depression and anxiety, then Artemis comes, bringing with her all of the Yellow Meadow nymphs – the Nephele for self-care, the Pleiades for sleep strategies, the Amnisades for de-escalation techniques, and the Hesperides and Hyperboreans for family and friends.

With their help, she can learn to sit with her emotions. The Amnisade who cares for Artemis’s dogs (emotions) will be a big part of that.

Image: Fantasia 2000

This picture is from Fantasia 2000. She is a Spring sprite who is almost killed by the eruption of Mnt. St. Helen while the music from Firebird plays. It feels scary, and I do feel that emotions are complete chaos, destructive and uncontrollable. She starts as joyful Spring, is turned to ash, then finds herself and brings new life to the desolate landscape.

The Greek word phantasia is usually translated as "imagination." However, in Greek thought the word always retains a connection with the verb phainomai, "I appear."

Cyndi Bennett writes in 'Clean Up on Aisle 9': "After truth has been applied and my thinking has leveled out, the rest of the noise reflects the barking dogs of my past that no longer have teeth. I can ignore them because they can no longer hurt me."

I plan on not ignoring my dogs, but they will not lead my thinking anymore. I will learn to sit with them and care for them. I will bring Spring back to my life. 

Lindsay Braman writes that the goal of therapy is not 'stopping certain behaviors'. It helps us develop a wider variety of ways to self-soothe. Trusting that the positive coping skills we are learning will work strengthens resiliency over time and helps the coping skills work faster over time. It is a slow process of learning, experimenting, and practicing.

This is a good reminder that I'm not trying to get rid of certain emotions, I'm just trying to learn new ways to care for them so that they don't take over my life. I'm beginning to trust that I can navigate my life without avoiding everything and spiraling into the pit over and over.

I gave my Mom the following information, which I was using for this step, because she is consumed by guilt when she talks about what my Dad did to her. She feels that she shouldn't say anything, or even think anything, because he is not here to defend himself (he died in 2022) but that means she can't deal with her trauma. She has lots of resentment, and anger, and more guilt about not being able to protect her children. She is not sleeping and ended up in the ER this week. She says this is helpful and she has taken the first step of talking about it. Still guilty, but talking.

Dominee at Self-Love Rainbow writes that when you sit with your feelings it means you allow them to exist. You're not running from them or ignoring them. You're making space to feel them and telling them "You belong here today." Because those feelings do belong here. It's okay to have sad days and to feel things that are uncomfortable or that we wish we didn't have to feel. It's not about wallowing in the feelings, which happens when we focus only on those uncomfortable feelings and nothing else. When we sit with our feelings we're allowing them to exist alongside all of our other feelings.

Dominee has 5 tips:

1. Recognise when those feelings want attention.

- pay attention to your cues. You might feel upset or cranky or anxious without knowing why. You might feel the physical symptoms of repressing emotions like being teary, headaches, or trouble sleeping.

2. Identify the emotion.

- identify the feeling that needs attention and why you are feeling it. Give yourself permission to be okay with it. It can help to say outloud "I am feeling _______ because ______." or to write it in a journal.

3. Accept the emotion.

- give it space to exist without judgement and without trying to change it. Let go of the need to control it. Example: I am sad, it's okay to be sad, and I feel like crying right now. Validate what you are feeling. You're not stupid or bad for feeling how you feel. You don't have to be over a feeling after a certain amount of time.

4. Let them exist

- don't avoid or mask the feelings with drugs etc. Feelings won't last forever even if they feel like they will. This is where the 'sitting with them' happens. You can feel sad and still have a good day - things exist alongside each other (grieving, watched a good movie).

5. Practice self-soothing.

- sitting with a feeling doesn't mean we can't do anything to make ourselves feel better. some feelings are strong and overwhelming. practice the coping skills and self-soothing strategies that help process rather than avoid. 

Positive self-talk: It's okay for me to cry. This feeling is not bad or good, it just is. I don't need to get lost in this feeling, I can stay present and mindful. This feeling won't last forever. I don't need to get rid of this feeling, I can just sit with it for a while. 

Sitting with your feelings can be messy, and that's okay.

So, all that is similar to what I found already about caring for my emotions, but this really focuses on the fact that you actually need to FEEL them. I have been thinking that the caring of the dogs is just to control them. 

I guess I will do MORE research on how to FEEL them without getting overwhelmed. It really is a very slow process.