well. that was a long month.
hubby has gone off to school. doing well, liking the machines, and the people there.
little boy has learned to ride his bike! still very wobbly, won't go far, but he's on his way.
daughter #2 has just gone off to camp for a week, about 5 hours away. she was very excited, its going to be so much fun - dragon boating, rock climbing, swimming, games, friends, . . .
daughter #1 has been volunteering with her guiding group - a triathalon and a swim meet, so far. she's also doing babysitting.
we had friends visit for 5 days. they are like family, even though we havn't seen (or talked to them - except hubby)them for a year, we all picked up where we left off.
I was in vancouver for 4 days, getting tests done, and getting information on my condition. I have Charcott-Marie-Tooth Syndrome - which has nothing to do with teeth - it affects the feet and hands. I have additional trouble with my swallowing, but it turns out that I am a very slow progressor, so probably will not have too severe of trouble with either feet, hands, or throat. good news!
it is affecting my work though. I get so tired. Beyond exhaustion. It seems so strange that i do half of what i used to do in my 20's and early 30's, but i get waaaay tireder. (yes, that is a word, and it applies to me)
I think I will be looking more work soon, I get confirmation next week from the school I was working at before wether or not they will be hiring me back in a different capacity, but the rumor is "no, not enough enrollment". I finish up 3 weeks of summer camp, then go to my mom's. so i will be subbing again in sept., and looking for something part-time, hopefully. full-time is too much, if i'm not desperate, I'm going to try not to.
I'm in the grief stage where I notice that no-one ever mentions Christopher. I know my mom and sister think about it when I'm there, because of my sisters new baby, they are worried I will be upset. they talk to each other about it, but they don't say anything to me. I don't think anyone else thinks about him. Just me. If people suddenly remember during a conversation, something jogging their memory, they go quiet, then change the topic. they are uncomfortable. I guess if i want to talk about him, i should just continue the conversation. if they arn't okay with it, i won't do it again with them. I don't think i was ready to talk about it before anyway. too raw.
I've had 2 days off now. a chance to rest. i have an urge to color my hair blue, put on matching nail polish, get my nose repierced, and be quirky again. to have some life, some fun, not just float through the day. i so admire people who let their inner selves shine. i think my goal for the next year is to show bits of myself to others - and yes i say that every year, but maybe this year i will!
