Presents

Hmmmm. I didn't realize how stressed I was getting about the present situation. Until last night.

I always try to keep Christmas low-key. All about family get-togethers, not presents. But the kids are so wound up from school this year. Their expectations are so high.

And most of their presents they already have - my Mom bought them coats and snowpants and boots for Christmas, which they've been wearing for a month. They aren't getting too much more than that.

Then yesterday we received a food bank Christmas hamper. Someone signed us up. Its full of food. And gifts. And I got all teary, thinking of how happy they will be to open them on Christmas.

We are doing okay, we aren't desperately needing food. Our parents are making sure we have enough. I feel bad for taking something that could go to someone who needs it more. But its awfully nice to not have to say - again - "sorry, maybe when we have more money". Especially on Christmas day.

So, thank you to everyone who donates to their local food banks and Christmas hampers. It really does put smiles on little faces.

Bah Humbug

Okay, I've got a Christmas complaint.

Why do schools have to wind the kids up so much? What with the daily count-downs, making 'the perfect' presents for parents, candy treats and christmas parties, constant practicing and performing for the plays, and talk about presents, my kids are wrecks. And so are the kids at my school, even those who don't celebrate Santa Claus!

They have such high expectations, and are so anxious, that the joy disappears.

Why can't Christmas be a home thing, touched on at school, but not the over-riding theme?

Bah Humbug!

Our 19th

Today, my hubby and I have been married for 19 years.

The story of our wedding is more unusual than most. Like us.

We met in college, we were both 18. The first time he saw me, he told his friends he would marry me. Awww, so romantic. Not! Apparently, I was bending over at the time, and he liked my butt. I sort of liked him, but definately wasn't interested in dating.

When we were 20, we both went through a rough patch. He had come home one day, and his apartment was empty - his girlfriend had left with the baby, and everything else. My boyfriend had just left me for one of my friends. We spent a lot of time together, and became best friends.

Then he moved, to find work. We talked every day on the phone. We talked through the months when his conversations mentioned a particular girl, and when they became room-mates. We still call her 'his mistress' - they are now best friends. Then I moved, to the city where he was.

About 2 months later, he stayed over at my place for the first time. And never left. 1 month later we eloped, and got married without telling anyone. We were 21. Boy, was his mom mad when she found out! Not a great way to start the mother-in-law thing. We still don't get along. LOL.

I overheard Hubby years later telling someone that his staying over at my house was a set-up. I was starting to show interest in other guys, and he decided he'd better take our relationship to the next level before he lost his chance. I was brushing him off, so he faked an allergic reaction (cinnamon causes him to stop breathing) and asked me to watch him while he slept that night, in case he stopped breathing. Well, that's one way to get into a girl's bed!

19 years later, we have lots more funny stories.

And we are looking forward to making many more.

The spirit world

I read this book awhile ago.

It says that spirits live their lives on earth in a body, then return to the spirit world where they all interact until they come to earth again. The spirits often meet each other over and over, in different bodies. So in one lifetime, they might be son and father, in another lifetime they might be friends, in another husband and wife. But the love (or antagonism, I guess) continues on from life to life.

My hubby and I have always thought we were soulmates. We are so different, and yet are so perfectly matched for each other. We make each other greater. Maybe that's because we know each other from several lifetimes?

The book also says that spirits can choose if they will come back in a particular body, and that they know how long that body has to live.

I am very comforted by the thought that Christopher may have taken advantage of the small window of opportunity to come into being, because he loved us from previous lives. That he loved us enough to come even though his time would be short. That he came because we are his family. . . maybe I was his child or his wife or his mother in a previous life, and he knew I needed help and he couldn't say no.

It means his life was not tragic, it was full of meaning. of intent. of love.

I have been having a hard time with Christmas. Its all about baby boys. And here I am comparing my baby boy, and all people for that matter, with Jesus - coming to earth to help their families, knowing that they would die, but coming anyway because of all the good things that they will do while they are here.

Is that sacrilegious, I wonder?

Poor Guy

Hubby is having a bad day. No, a bad week. No, a bad month. No, a bad . . .

Whenever something goes wrong, he always takes it to the max. If he loses his keys in the morning, he starts off with "I'm going to be late" and ends up with "my whole life is one big mess" within moments.

I've learned to talk him back down.

But for this problem it's not working so well.

He's been looking everywhere for a job, but its just a bad time to find anything. And we're running out of money.

I talk him down, but he goes off the deep end again a little while later.

Poor guy.

wow

A lady I've seen at the school I work at came over to me the other day.

She shared a very personal, still heart-breakingly fresh even though it happened 3 years ago, story with me. To help me. There are some amazing people out there.

She has been fighting breast cancer for 3 years. She was diagnosed just after learning she was pregnant with her second child. She had to terminate in order to save her own life, so her toddler would have a mother.

Her son is in my son's kindergarten class. When he heard that my son's baby had died, he took his mother to the store, and bought 2 stuffed toys for my son - one to keep, one to bury with the baby. Like he had done at his sisters funeral. There are some amazing kids out there.

My son cried. He was so happy to know that he wasn't the only one with a spirit baby that you can't hold. Now he can talk about Christopher without crying.

I cried. It was so wonderful to talk to someone, in person, that knew what it was like to lose an unborn baby. I apologised for taking, and not giving - I didn't console her very well, just took everything i could get. She said that it was okay, that was the stage I was at.

That mother still grieves hard, every day. It was so hard for her to talk to me. And I'm so thankful that she did.