My friend, the person I've known longest in my life, other than my family, phoned yesterday.
Her hubby died Friday.
I am so sorry I never made the effort to know him better. I saw a bit of his writing on facebook, once, and it immediately made me want to - he seemed like a really interesting guy. I never followed it up though, and I regret that.
Another reason to keep in touch with everyone, because you never know how long you will have.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
well, so much for keeping in touch. EVERY year, I promise myself that THIS year I will keep in touch with people. I will write or phone or email on a regular basis.
It's not like I've forgotten them, I think about my friends all the time, and I read their blogs or facebooks. I just find it very hard to open the conversation.
Thank goodness some of them phone me on a regular basis, because they know that I sure as heck won't phone them.
So, an update . . . the little boy turned 5 on Valentines day, all of the kids are signed up to play softball in a month (our first time), the subbing went well, although I have no work at present. I am starting up an afterschool program later this month - I will be the manager. The place my hubby works at was sold, so he is planning to work from home more.
One interesting tidbit. After my little boy was born, my hubby wanted to stop having kids. I've always wanted a LOT of kids. But, since I had the daycare full of kids, and I was burnt out and barely coping, and so was he, I could say "I'm happy with where we are, this is our last one, but I'm still hoping for a bonus baby (you know, the one that comes unexpectedly years later.)" For the last 5 years he's been too chicken to get snipped, so I was quite happy to give away all my baby stuff, because I still had the possibility of babies.
Then we moved here, and I started working with babies. And I started thinking how much I missed all the baby times. And how much I love being pregnant, depite the puking and extreme tiredness. Then in Feb. he went for his preliminary snipping appointment. I cried for a day. Then I tried to get pregnant before he did it. I thought I might be, for 4 days, and I was SOOOO happy. But I wasn't.
Now that's a good thing, since I need to work to support my family, or we will be in dire straights - remember, we are 5 in a one-room aprtment until I find a job.
It took me a few weeks to get over it. Its hard to say goodbye to motherhood when you love it so much.
Then he postponed his snip, and I had one last chance to try. So now I'm waiting again to see. If I'm not, I'm not trying again. I feel like I'm doing something terrible, trying to have another kid when it so doesn't fit in with our spot in life right now. But its like putting a cookie in front of a kid and telling them you're leaving the room for a minute. I'm disappointed in myself for not resisting, but DELIROUSLY HAPPY THAT I GOT A CHANCE TO GRAB THAT COOKIE!!!!
So wish me luck. Both ways, because I so would love to be pregnant again, and because I so shouldn't be.
It's not like I've forgotten them, I think about my friends all the time, and I read their blogs or facebooks. I just find it very hard to open the conversation.
Thank goodness some of them phone me on a regular basis, because they know that I sure as heck won't phone them.
So, an update . . . the little boy turned 5 on Valentines day, all of the kids are signed up to play softball in a month (our first time), the subbing went well, although I have no work at present. I am starting up an afterschool program later this month - I will be the manager. The place my hubby works at was sold, so he is planning to work from home more.
One interesting tidbit. After my little boy was born, my hubby wanted to stop having kids. I've always wanted a LOT of kids. But, since I had the daycare full of kids, and I was burnt out and barely coping, and so was he, I could say "I'm happy with where we are, this is our last one, but I'm still hoping for a bonus baby (you know, the one that comes unexpectedly years later.)" For the last 5 years he's been too chicken to get snipped, so I was quite happy to give away all my baby stuff, because I still had the possibility of babies.
Then we moved here, and I started working with babies. And I started thinking how much I missed all the baby times. And how much I love being pregnant, depite the puking and extreme tiredness. Then in Feb. he went for his preliminary snipping appointment. I cried for a day. Then I tried to get pregnant before he did it. I thought I might be, for 4 days, and I was SOOOO happy. But I wasn't.
Now that's a good thing, since I need to work to support my family, or we will be in dire straights - remember, we are 5 in a one-room aprtment until I find a job.
It took me a few weeks to get over it. Its hard to say goodbye to motherhood when you love it so much.
Then he postponed his snip, and I had one last chance to try. So now I'm waiting again to see. If I'm not, I'm not trying again. I feel like I'm doing something terrible, trying to have another kid when it so doesn't fit in with our spot in life right now. But its like putting a cookie in front of a kid and telling them you're leaving the room for a minute. I'm disappointed in myself for not resisting, but DELIROUSLY HAPPY THAT I GOT A CHANCE TO GRAB THAT COOKIE!!!!
So wish me luck. Both ways, because I so would love to be pregnant again, and because I so shouldn't be.
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