The Nephelai and Self-Care

The Nephelai, my self-care strategies, follow me from the Green Zone right through to the end of the Green Journey. They also follow me through the Blue Zone and the Blue Journey.

 

Elektra (Light thru Mist) - habit trackers.   
Image: Arthur Rackham, Rainbow Goddess.

Electra is one of my 10 self-care strategies. I have made some habit trackers to get me into the habit of doing my self-care every day.

I have a rainbow tracker to remind me to take my meds/supplements, to eat, and to drink water. I also track my water on an app that gives me fish in an aquarium if I drink my water, lol.

To motivate myself to go outside, to walk and to do my exercises, I have started to do a virtual Camino walk through Portugal. I track my km on a blog here. I'm at 6 km right now.

I have printed off two trackers - one with leaves and one with trees - to motivate me to make connections. My kids are the leaves - I NEED to make time for them. My friends are the trees, the forest I need around me.  This also is me helping others - me supporting them. 

I've been trying to think of ways to connect. My list so far is this: dinners together (and cleaning up after), texting, sending IG memes, phonecalls, goodnight foot rubs, holidays together, holiday traditions, birthday dinners/cakes/gifts, nameday cakes, fun times together (cards, movies), grocery shopping/errands together, ADHD sibling talks, post-secondary school talks/support, cooking together (making pasta, cheese, etc.), connecting on interests. Most of these can apply to friends as well as my kids. All of the ideas rely on action and making the time - two things I am good at avoiding. This time when I say I have to make it a priority, I really need to. I'm hoping the tracker will get me over the avoidance, if not then I will have to come up with a specific strategy to deal with the fear that is holding me back.

I have a sleep/pain tracker with bubbles that I will start using. I'm also adding a nightly relaxation practice to this so that I practice before I'm in crisis. I'm not too worried about sleep right now, but I am needing to note how often I can't fall asleep and why. Often I have pain, or just am so restless I can't stop twitching/moving. Or I can't breathe properly.

And I don't need a magical hobby tracker right now since making projects is one of them and I am ALWAYS working on projects such as this Goddess Project, and Meals from Around the World (we are doing Portugal at the moment), and Eat Local (which starts in January).

I am hoping that these trackers will get the habits solidified, and then I won't need to track so consistently. I will feel better when I do these things so it's worth the risk of getting too obsessed with the trackers. And hopefully, I will not get lazy and stop doing them - I suppose that is one of my signs.

Knossia

 

Knossia is a Naiad, a water nymph, the daughter of Amnios like the Amnisades. She inhabits the spring of the city of Knossos on Crete, which is near the mouth of the Karteros Rivier where it empties into the sea.

She waits for me at the beach, at the end of the journey, in the happy place I visualize when I try to de-escalate. Warm sun, warm water, warm sand, seaside birds and fish. She encourages me to come to her, to keep going through the hard times of the journey. She stays with me as I visualize this place, and strengthens me with her calm when I need her on the journey. Once my journey is over and I'm ready to go back to the Yellow or Green Zone, she reassures me that she is just a visualization away if I need her.

Aura and the Aurai

(J) Aura and the Aurai are nymphs of the breeze, and children of the Wind Gods. 

Aura was a companion of Artemis - she could run as fast as the wind, and was a skilled archer and hunter. She will be the one who helps my make major changes if all else fails. The rest of the Aurai were cooling breezes, and the fresh air of the morning. They will blow through my head and be the winds of change. 

The strategies of the Amnisades should help me to adapt stressors so that they are manageable, but if I still am not managing, I will get the help of those around me to come up with some major changes. Things like quitting my job or moving somewhere else. A big change should relieve the stressors, and also shock the system. 

Dryad Children

 (I) The Dryads come with me on my journey through the Karteros Gorge as I follow the Happiness Project Year. They will help me keep my focus outward as I journey so that I don't turn inward and obsess about what I am feeling and doing, what is not working, what I can't do well, spiraling further and further down. They will each represent one of the 8 senses, and I will use the sensory input to distract from ruminating and remind myself to focus outward. Many of these reminders will be similar to the strategies from the Amnisades, except maybe more tied to this specific situation. All of these plants grow in the Karteros Gorge.

 I will also need to have some sort of big project to keep my focus outwards. I will wait until the time, but some ideas are to take a course or to help a charity. Or have a big goal needing planning, like doing the Camino. It will have to have connections to other people for sure though. 

Dryads are the spirits of trees and companions of Artemis. There are many types of tree dryads, all young women. They do have children, both girls and boys, and so these will be dryad children. I have always LOVED the flower fairies, and I am coming to understand that I don't need to be embarrassed about my child-like interests. I've even bought myself some books that I loved about fairies, ect but didn't keep. It makes me so happy to look at them!

Elici the willow-dryad.
(Cicely Mary Barker, Willow Fairy)

 Elici is another name for Helice, a willow-dryad. Helice cared for Zeus when he was an infant and later she became the constellation of Ursa Major, the Bear which is North on the wind compass. 

Willows are flexible, open to new ideas, and yet tough when they need to be. Elici will remind me that I am safe. Doing some willow weaving will be the sense of touch, and the meditation and focus of weaving will calm me down and distract me from ruminating.

(Cicely Mary Barker)

Anapseucho, meaning 'to refresh one's spirit' in Greek, is my Plane Tree dryad. The Plane Tree is tall, with far-spreading branches that give shade to every village square. It is resistant to stresses and shows where water is, as it is found at springs, wells, creeks, rivers, etc. It is considered a gift, and the Gaia Tree. 

Anapseucho will represent the sense of hearing, as music. Playing upbeat folk music will be my reminder to focus outward, and help change my mood to a more positive one. I could also try to learn a new instrument or new music, or join the community choir again. Lots of possibilities.

Wild Thyme Flower Fairy
(Cicely Mary Barker)

Andreea, meaning 'courage' in Greek, will use the sense of taste to help with outward focus. Thyme tea can help me calm, and thyme cough drops can remind me to change focus. Thyme energises and was used to bestow courage to warriors before a battle. 

Bryony Flower Fairy
(Cicely Mary Barker)

Elly (from Elpis, the goddess of hope) represents the Proprioception sense, which is coordinated movement. Cretan Bryony is from Crete, and a bit different thatn European Bryony. A fast-growing vine spread by birds eating berries, it tangles into everything around it. Elly will remind me to go for a walk or a swim or something exercisy with someone else to get the focus outward, and the endorphins going.

Acorn Fairy
(Cicely Mary Barker)

Opsi is a Kermes Oak dryad. Opsi means 'look' in Greek, as in how something looks. He represents the seeing sense, reminding me to look at the acorn and remember to not keep things hidden inside, and also to look around - I may think that I am trapped but if I turn around, there may be an open door behind me that I was missing.

(Cicely Mary Barker, Yew Fairy)

Euche (pronounced yoo-khay, and meaning 'prayer/wish' in Greek) is my Greek Cypress Tree dryad, and reminds me to say a prayer for someone else, and work to make other's wishes come true. The Greek Cypress has small cones that look like the yew berries, but are grey, and the needles are similar enough that the Yew Fairy was the closest match. He represents the sense of smell, as Cypress resin smells amazing and is used as an essential oil and as incense. The smell will get me to take notice and the prayer for others will help me focus outward. This has worked in the past to get me over some trauma feelings.

(Cicely Mary Barker)

Iso is my Chastetree dryad. Iso is short for 'isorropia', which means 'balance' in Greek. Iso means 'equal' and chastetree is used to balance the hormones of women. The plant has long blue-grey leaves and spires of purple flowers, much like the lavender plant above. She represents the Vestibular sense, which processes balance and movement. I will do balance exercises which will move my body and require lots of focus because of my CMT!

(Cicely Mary Barker)

 

Schesi, meaning 'relationship' in Greek, is going to be my Ivy dryad - it almost looks like ivy growing up the tree there. He will be the sense of interoception - internal body cues and emotional body cues, and like Ivy, he will wind his way around us all, making bonds between us. My interoception action to have my focus turn outward will be to do a body check (to define what emotions I'm having) and then have some bracelets to snap on my wrist, or something similar, to get my focus outside the body. 

So, I may change this around a bit at the time, but hopefully this will help keep me from going inside too deep during the Happiness Project, which includes lots of checklists and goals to get bogged down in.

The Compass

 So as I head into the Karteros Gorge on my Green Journey for my Goddess Project, I need to step things up. I have all of my strategies and supports, from Britomartis and Athena to the Hyades, now I need to DO something.

I think that (H) will be the Happiness Project. This book explores ways to discover more about yourself and ideas on how to make the most of your strengths. It is a year-long plan, which is good for this part of the journey. It gives me something to focus on that is not the overwhelm of the moment and the out-of-control feelings, but something positive in the future. It is very much a 'doing' program which is something that I need.

The Ancient Greeks used a compass with 12 winds. This green design will be my 12-point compass. Doing the Happiness Project means choosing 12 new habits, 1 for each month, and then continuing on with them. For example, one month might be all about Making Connections. The new habits I learned in this month would be continued on as I add new skills from the next months.

Aparctias (meaning 'from the bear' or Ursa Major) is Boreas, the North Wind. At summer solstice, the sun rises at Caecias and sets at Argestes, during the Equinos, the sun rises at Apeliotes and sets at Zephyrus (the West Wind). At the winter solstice, the sun rises at Eurus (the East Wind) and sets at Lips (the wind that brings rain).

If I can use the Happiness Project to ground me and give me something to focus on, then I have a much better chance of making my way through the crazy to the other side.

The Hyades and The Hesperides

(G) The Hyades and the Hesperides (both Atlantides, and half-sisters to the Pleiades) will represent my community supports and will be waiting at the junction where the Astrakiano and Kounaviano Gorges meet the Kartero Gorge. 

Connecting to my friends and getting support is also the next step that Persephone needs to make to grow up, after accepting emotions. She must not lock up the dogs and hide them away. She must talk to people so she can get different perspectives and ideas. Otherwise, she has a much higher chance of wresting control away from Artemis and hiding in Lethe's cave of forgetfulness in the Underworld, taking my life with her.

The Hesperides are the daughters of Atlas, making them Atlantides but their mother is Herperis, daughter of Hesperus the Evening Star so they are called nymphs of the sunset. They will be part of my community supports by representing my friends. I generally don't talk to anyone, and so this would be a big step for me. But I guess it needs to be done, sigh. I can think of several people I could talk to - some from church, a cousin, a college friend. None I talk to regularly but all have said that I could call if I need to. I will add more as find more people to talk to.

Images: Victor Nezovtsev, details

At my last appointment, I asked how to do friends and community as supports. When I am not doing well, there is nothing a friend could do - at least they haven't been able to do anything in the past. Donna has explained that I need to connect with friends before this point, that I need to establish relationships in the green zone so we can both share good and bad, big and little things to help each other before the crisis point. Then, when we are in need, we have a support net to rest on. 

That it can be as simple as a text to say 'I love you' or 'how are you today?' So I have gone back to my self-care nephelai and made a post with connecting ideas here. So the plan is to keep in touch while I am in the Green Zone, share more in the Yellow Zone, and ask specific people for extra support during the Green Journey.

The Hyades are rain nymphs:

They will be the community supports:

1. Crisis line - I am supposed to phone before I am completely in crisis, be honest, and be clear - no euphemisms. 

2. Psychiatrist to up meds

3. 

4. 

I'm not really sure what community supports looks like so I guess as I learn more I can change or add stuff.

The Amnisades

 

Image: Edmund Dulac, (from The Tempest)

E. The Amnisades will help me with the dogs and will represent the strategies I use to de-escalate and tolerate stress. 

Children of the River God Amnios (Amnios River is now called Karteros River), 20 of the nymphs were handmaidens of Artemis. "and give me for handmaidens twenty Nymphai Amnisides (Nymphs of Amnisus) who shall tend well my buskins, and, when I shoot no more at lynx or stag, shall tend my swift hounds.’" "For thee [Artemis] the Amnisiades rub down the hinds [i.e. the golden-horned deer which draw her chariot] loosed from the yoke, and from the mead of Hera they gather and carry for them to feed on much swift-springing clover, which also the horses of Zeus eat; and golden troughs they fill with water to be for the deer a pleasant draught . . .

The 20 Amnisades will be in the river with the Pleiades as part of my Yellow Zone. I'm using mostly Christine Karron artwork, however she sells coloring pages of her art and so a lot of these images are differently colored by others.

So far, my de-escalation strategies are as follows, but it may change as I learn more:

1. Mindfullness distractions - cooking, game on phone, project, funnies, sorting ...

Christine Karron

2. Window of Tolerance - 

Christine Karron

3. Positive Self-talk, visualizations (waves, power pose, safe place)

Christine Karron

4. Music - confidence playlist

5. Forest/Trees - zoom out perspective

Christine Karron

6. reframe triggers/cptsd

Christine Karron

7. identify patterns

Monstera Mermaid, FaerytaleWings

8. art therapy

Naiad, twogranniesandanaxe.

9. Adapt stressful situations to make them work

Christine Karron

10. little steps, one at a time

Fantasia 2000

11. sit with emotions and care for the dogs

Christine Karron

12. grounding techniques - 5 senses grounding, breathing, ...

Christine Karron

13. PAUSE (P - pause when recognise cues, A - ANTs, U - understand you are safe and reframe ANTs, S - self- soothe with sensory, E - exhale - breathing.)

Christine Karron

14. Visuals - I just found a bunch of stuff on Pinterest that looks like it will help me. I may need some help whittling it all down, but I think quite a bit of it will work for me - lots of rainbows, lol. I will post as I go through them.

Christine Karron

15. Problem Solving - lists, research

20. Sensory breaks - 8 senses, both seeking and avoiding strategies for each, with dryads:

joenni

a) Visual - calming = read, go outside. seeking = game/video on phone.

joenni

b) auditory - calming = humming, quiet space/outside. seeking = audiobook.

joenni

c) taste - calming = cough candy, seeking = candy cane

joenni

d) smell - calming = essential oils, seeking = essential oils

joenni

e) tactile - calming = hug, seeking = fidgets.

Christine Karron

f) balance - calming = tight/weighted, seeking = jumping/balancing

joenni

g) movement - calming = stretches, seeking = chewing, walking, wall pushes

joenni

h) internal/emotional - calming = breathing, seeking = rev up breathing.

The Dogs

Artemis has 13 hunting dogs, and as hunting dogs, they are well-trained and well-cared for. The Amnisades in particular look after them. 

The dogs are my emotions in the Goddess Project. I have always felt that they are out of my control, that nothing I do can control them. The safest place for me and those around me is an unemotional state. Actually accepting the emotions (not just talking about accepting them) is going to involve a new visualization. I am finally ready to do that.

All of dogs are in my acceptable zones - green, yellow and blue. All of them will be in all the zones.

My 4 green zone dogs are:

Philo (love) - the one who keeps me safe.
(Image: Tarot Mucha, The Fool card)

Thaumazo (awestruck) - when I feel beauty   
 (Image: picjumbo)

Autarkeia (contented) - the default state of content   
(Image: hectorshousecrete.org, animal rescue shelter, 'Daisy')

Chara (joyful) - happy.   
(Image: wikipedia)

My 5 yellow zone dogs are:

Agalliasis (exuberant joyfullness!) - overexcited, overstimulated.  
(Image: Manuela Kulpa)

Thumoo (angry) - anger
(Image: Toby Dog)

Strepho (changing because of remorse) - remorse   
(Image: Wikipedia)

   

Tis (what? where? why?) - anxiety
(Image: hectorshousecrete.org, animal rescue shelter, 'Chrissey')

Agon (pressured, like an athlete at the Olympics) - pressured
(Image: hectorshousecrete.org, animal rescue shelter, 'Louise')

And my 4 blue zone dogs are:

Katakeimai (laying in bed sick) - feeling sick, tired
(Image: takisshelter.org, animal rescue shelter, 'Annina')

Exaporeomai (no way out) - hopelessness     (Image: picjumbo)

Tremo (trembling from fear) - fear    (Image: picjumbo)

Klauthmos (wailing, bitter weeping from despair) - despair
(Image: hectorshousecrete.org, animal rescue shelter, 'Rolo')

My previous visualization of accepting emotions was to invite them to a tea party because I was too afraid of them to give them a hug, as the counselors always suggested. However, I could invite them to the table, introduce them to the others, give them a comfortable chair and tea and cake. But they were still at arms reach.

With cherished dogs, I can hug and cuddle them. I will be literally embracing my emotions. I can talk to them, identify the problem, how I feel, what we can do about it.  Then their friends can come and get them, because emotions are supposed to come and go, not stay forever.

I will have help with them. I can take them for walks with my friends, my family, my community. I can tell people about them, get some new perspectives, get support. I can take real walks in nature while I do this.

I can feed them positive self-talk, acceptance, positive visualizations.

I can train my hunting dogs with plans, check-ins, strategies. I can take them hunting with me - emotions are key to survival and growth. When we go hunting we will be going into a stressful situation.

I can play with my dogs by practicing while they are not escalated, by having fun with them while I practice.

"Emotions are a fast-track, inescapable source of information about how to stay safe, survive, and thrive in an ever-changing environment. Emotion is closely linked to motor activity—both are mediated by the autonomic nervous system—and is thought to motivate a behavioral response. The emotion of fear, for example, stimulates a withdrawal response without any thought required. Positive emotions include happiness, love, and pride; they foster a sense of expansion and psychological growth. Negative emotions include fear, anger, sadness, and disgust; they create discomfort as a way to warn us to attend to something important. Key components of emotional regulation are Self-awareness—noticing what you feel and being able to name it; emotional acceptance—particularly accepting the discomfort of negative emotions without judging them or taking steps to change them, and cognitive reappraisal—reframing a negative event as a more positive one. distancing—gaining perspective by looking at your situation “as a fly on the wall” can also be a useful approach." psycologytoday.com

Update: Feb. 3, 2024

The last few years I have been reading books with Shifters as characters. Many of them describe the struggle to master their beast (wolf, bear, lion, ect.). Some of the characters repress their beast, never letting them out for fear of the damage they can do. This generally kills both beast and person as they both go mad eventually. A mentor often comes along to teach them how to live together.

I was recently struck by how I am afraid to let my emotions out, and try my hardest to never let them show. Naming the dogs was a start but I need to figure out exactly how living with the dogs is going to work.

So, I'm going to have Artemis's twin brother Apollo help out. Apollo pulls the sun, Artemis pulls the moon with the magical deer pulling her chariot. Every day, as they pass each other, Apollo will help Artemis let out her dogs. A daily routine of checking in with the emotions - are they doing good? Do any of them need help? Feel each emotion every day. This will be in the Green Zone like the daily self-care things. 

And that thing where emotions come and go, like waves / clouds / water in the river? Here the dogs will run through the forest before shifting back inside Artemis. If the feelings linger, then we let them keep running and check in off and on to see if they are done yet. Apollo Lykairos is Lord of the Wolves. Both Apollo and Artemis were wolf-born (their birth is surrounded by wolf stories) and werewolf stories were common in Ancient Greece. It will be a bit like letting out the beast when I let out the emotions. 

'Apollo and Artemis, twins born of Leto and Zeus, were the divine archers of Greek mythology. They were similar in many ways — they both had a love for archery and the hunt, they were equally, highly venerated, and they often chose youthful forms to express themselves. However, they were also the opposites of one another: Apollo represented the sun and day, whereas Artemis’ domain was the night and everything touched by moonlight. The divine twins were effectively two sides of the same coin — inseparable yet different. One without the other was inconceivable.

Apollo and Artemis were the children of Leto and Zeus. Leto was a goddess primarily worshipped for her representing matrons, and she was a divine protector of the young. She was often associated with the wilderness and wolves, associations which she passed on to her daughter, Artemis. 

The symbolism of the coin with two sides was manifest in the twins’ responsibilities. In Greek mythology, Apollo and Artemis each had dominion over different parts of the cycle of day to night. Apollo was given the responsibility of raising the sun each day across the sky, from east to west. Naturally, his sister Artemis drew the moon across the sky throughout the night. As such, Apollo became associated with golden light and Artemis silver light. Overall, Artemis and Apollo worked in tandem to bring light to the world in myth.

Apollo and Artemis were often in opposition, and yet they sometimes came together in unison. Together they represent the impossibility of having one side of something without the other. Without the light, there would be no moon. Their opposites and parallels signify the duality of mankind through divine expression.' Bethany Williams, thecollector.com

Sounds like I have to accept the bad with the good. Should be interesting.

The sun wolf will be how Apollo appears to Artemis each day. Not scary. Able to play with the dogs.

Image: Hannah Kincannon.