Changing the Zones

 I've been playing with the Zones, heading more and more into visualizations that are calm and confident since I still get super anxious with the orange/red and blue/purple zones.

This is where I am today (who knows where I'll be next week, lol). It doesn't even say zones, that's how much I've changed it:

4. Artemis's Green Journey: the Karteros Gorge journey through anxiety to the beach with friends and handmaidens.

Image: Maria Bergler

3. Yellow Meadow: Persephone helps Artemis.

2. Green Forest House by the beach: Artemis's daily self-care

1. Blue Meadow: Artemis helps Persephone.

Image: Starlight Gathering by AelinLaerFineArt 

0. Persephone's Blue Journey: from Hypnos back to the Green Forest House with friends and Hecate's lampades.

So, when I decided that I wanted Persephone to have a journey that mirrors Artemis's journey through the gorge, I did a bunch of googling about the underworld. When Persephone takes control because the orange zone is too much, she does something that I have found in a book by Dr. Shanker called Self-Reg (I used it for childcare, never thought to apply it to myself, lol)

Dr. Shanker writes that there is a series of biological responses to threat: a) social engagement - get help, and the body is made to regulate in response to other people. b) fight or flight (SNS). c) freeze (PNS). d) dissociation - a way to reduce psychic and physical pain, a survival mechanism. 

So I obviously go through fight, flight and freeze, but I have learned not to seek social engagement and I get lost in the dissociation. My blue and green journeys will incorporate a lot of stuff I have learned recently.

Anyway, in the underworld, Hypnos lives in a cave surrounded by poppy fields. 

The cave is impenetrable by the sun and moon. Lethe River, the river of forgetfulness, flows through the cave. Souls drink from the Lethe to forget their past lives and the underworld so that they can be reincarnated/reborn. This is where Persephone will go when she dissociates.

She will not stay here as long though. Now that she is adult Persephone, and Queen of the Underworld, she will travel with her friends back to the 'real world' where she spends the other 6 months of her life. Hmmm, I guess I need to acknowledge that this is cyclic, that she will often go through tough times but that she comes out the other side eventually.

Some of the underworld characters who make the journey with her are: 

Image: Bee Goddess, Mystic Sisters Oracle Cards.

Hecate and her lampades (nymphs)

Nyx, Goddess of Night, mother of Hypnos

Hemera, Goddess of Day, daughter of Nyx.

They live together near Hypnos and at the boundary of the underworld, passing each other every day at the entrance to their house as day becomes night and night becomes day.

Eleos, Goddess of Mercy and Compassion, daughter of Nyx

Image: Susan Seddon - Boulet, Tutt' Art

Soteria - Goddess of Safety, daimon

The sisters Styx and Daeira, both water nymphs. Styx is the personification of the River Styx, Daeria is a companion of Persephone and her guard.

Image: The Fool, Tarot Mucha

My Tarot Mucha deck says that the dog guides her away from the cliff, it is the part of the consciousness that instinctively protects us from harm. Sounds a lot like the personification of dissociation as a survival mechanism. So Persephone will have her dog (I'm naming it Philo, meaning love) as her protector with her on the Blue Journey.

Tarot for a stressful holiday

 

"When you look into the soul of the Universe, it's easy to see how everything is connected. We are all one of the same. Essentially, we are the Universe expressing itself as human. We all come from stardust, and we all carry within us the elements of the world around us. These elements include Earth, Air, Fire, and Water."(Tanaaz, foreverconscious.com)

I'm about to go on a holiday that is always stressful for me. It involves sticky relationships so I did a tarot reading for guidance, no individual questions this time. I did the 4 elements, plus an integration of all 4 for overall guidance. 

1. Earth - grounding, stability when stressed. The Fool came up: adventure = joy. no expectations, only the willingness to live fully in the flow of life's experiences. a good reminder for me to give up trying to control everyone and just enjoy the weekend.

2. Fire - passion, joy, transformation, new beginnings. The Heirophant came up: he is the keeper of tradition, but a true teacher will inspire self-forgiveness and a fresh start, free of the guilt and shame of the past. A reminder for me to let bygones be bygones, and start anew.

3. Air - winds of change, breath of life. The Queen of Swords came up: she keeps her distance, a cooling of emotions, does a detached assessment of the entire situation before acting. A reminder to keep my emotions in check by not ignoring my cues, and taking the time to center myself by using my strategies in order to keep some distance.

4. Water - emotions, calm, beauty. The Hangman came up: a new perspective and open mind to see the beauty and love around you. surrender to emotion, hand control to the universe and enjoy life. Another reminder to give up control and start anew.

5. 4 elements together - connections, overall guidance. 3 cards.

a) 6 of discs - money, material world. generosity, not shut self away, gentle with others and grateful for your own abundance. recieve and give help. A reminder to not shut myself away like I usually do, and to ask for help if I need it.

b) 1 of discs - money, material world. beginning of a fruitful period when friendships flourish. you will get help - it is a gift, don't waste it. The door is open to a better life, you must choose to walk through it. A reminder that I must choose to start anew, accept help, and find joy.

c) King of Cups - he makes the world a better place, believes that anything is possible when good people get together, compassion, faith in goodness and love. A reminder that we are all good people who need compassion.

Good reminders! I'm bringing this plus a copy of my yellow zone strategies with me on holiday, to remind myself to deal with my stress and enjoy the weekend without trying to control anyone. :) 

The Orange Zone

I had another session with Donna and I discovered that the reason I didn't have any strategies for the orange zone was twofold - a) I was afraid of it, and b) It is the place where nothing is working and I have no confidence that it will ever get better despite my trying 120%  24/7. Every other time I got here, nothing worked.

My visual of this zone is being alone in a rowboat, in the middle of Kootenay Lake, at night, in a storm. I can see the light in my family's window off and on, but I never get any closer. I'm still trying but am exhausted. This is where I would tell hubby that I need help rowing the boat.

Donna suggested that I make that visual different. I was thinking that I could add an emergency kit full of strategies into the boat. One thing I have to remember is that I'm not alone, so the visual would include people in boats all around me, close enough to help me. 

Even thinking of myself in the middle of the lake is too scary though. I'm going to change the visual below from the green zone to the orange zone, to be Artemis in the Karteros Gorge on the Island of Crete. 

Artemis is not in a boat, she is walking the path through the gorge. She has her dogs - all of them, including the happy and confident ones. Her cousin Eileithycia, goddess of midwives, lives here, so they share an interest and visit each other often (Artemis is a goddess of midwifery and birth as well). She has 20 handmaidens that always help her - they are amnisiades (nymphs from the Amnisus River, now called Karteros River, and are daughters of the Amnisus river god.) Artemis is no longer alone in the orange zone. 

She is not far far from shore. The river is small, the gorge is deep but beautiful and cool under the green trees, like the rivers here in the Kootenays. She will bring a bag of strategies with her on this journey, a journey that mimics Persephone's journey up from the Deep Purple Zone. The gorge even has steps like Persephone's:

The river mouth even opens up onto a gorgeous sandy beach and the warm waters of the Sea of Crete - a beach that is exactly how I picture my happy safe place, the picture I go to when I need to center myself.

Kali will still be a part of this visual, to make sure Artemis does not ignore her struggles, but instead of forcing a drastic change (like quitting my job), she can offer guidance to adapt the job to make it work, to try different meds, to try more extreme help (like the crisis line or inpatient treatment). Scary things that I would normally not consider. 

My new visual for the green zone will be this one below, from tumblr:

*Added on Aug. 20:

I just got back from my quick holiday to the Shuswap in BC. We walked to Margaret Falls through an amazing gorge with a Jurassic Park vibe, and I felt like I was walking through the Karteros Gorge. Walking meant I felt strong and grounded, confident I could do this walk and happy to be with friends and family.

We had to evacuate later that night due to wildfires close by. Driving through the dark in the never-ending line of traffic meant that the uncertainty, worry, ect were much like the out of control anxiety I would get in the orange zone. I even got moments of 'I could die at any time' even though we weren't in the fire, just my anxiety spiking. But I got through it. 

So, more layers of visuals and meaning to go into the orange zone gorge.