Deciding to write 2 positive posts for every complaining post was too daunting obviously.
Also, I totally bit it just after the last post. A med increase has really helped. Both of my professional supports ditched me - they got tired of me saying that I couldn't seem to get anything done or spend any time with my family or feel less depressed/anxious. And that I thought the problem could be helped if I just found the right thing that worked instead of accepting that life has ups and downs and I shouldn't expect to be happy all the time. Whatever. I would be satisfied with connected and productive.
I am definately better than last year, I have gotten some stuff done and actually have done some sorting - I still have several areas that look like a hoarders house, but I'm learning to get rid of the areas so I can't pile stuff there. Doesn't help much for things like the bedroom, can't get rid of that.
Work was terribly hard the last few years, I am trying hard to limit the number of kids I have and to let go of ones that are too fractious. I have just reached the end of a year of tons of work with planning, so I am REALLY hoping I can stop myself from starting numerous projects every month. Then I could finish the hundreds I have lying around unfinished.
I really want to spend some time with the kids so I hope I can force myself to follow through with card game nites, going to vespers then McDonalds together once a month, and hanging out with them a bit so they know that I know what they like.
They have grown so much in the last year. Little boy is now as tall as his sisters, has a deep voice, has broadened out in the shoulders/hips/face/..... It's like watching a plant grow he is changing so fast. He loves highschool, has lots of friends, is loving the 'adult' thing (we buy him manly shampoo and he actually needs to trim his mustache!!! so I bought him a grooming kit, lol), and his anxiety and tics are almost non-existent.
Little girl graduates in a couple months. She and all of her friends have decided to take a gap year and hang out/work.
Big girl made it through her course and graduated a week ago - lots and lots of work but she did it!! She also stayed in the dorms which was challenging, but she made it through. A big blow up at the college the last week of her first semester with the instructors, mostly caused by my meddling. They made her come into their office without a parent (we were told that we could attend the meeting), falsly accused her of threatening them, and wouldn't let her leave when she started to have a panic attack. She ended up in First aid with Oxygen, then they said that they would fail her because she can't be having panic attacks whenever she encounters critism at work. Hubby was able to talk with them the same day in a very calm but firm way - I am soooo impressed with him - and I sent an apologetic letter for sticking my nose in - and things were sorted out. No problems after that. I was expecting second semester to be a fight, but it wasn't. She really stuck it out and tried her best and it paid off.
Hubby had the worst year of his life - broken bones, constant sickness (shingles, flu), and a neck/arm injury. He worked through most of it, then hit the wall and took a month and a half off on his own dime in December. He's starting to feel better but its a slog.
He has been wonderful about supporting me, I am going to try to repay the favor. My anxiety keeps kicking in and then I am nit-picky and oppositional. Working on it though.
Well, thats the update for now.
