the walls are threatening to come crumbling down

what a week.

I am finally sending off the gravestone wording - i'll post a picture of what we decided to go with in the summer when we go visit and take pictures. lots of tears, but a sigh of relief too, that its done.

had to spend $1700 to fix the truck and get the credit card out of hold for not paying the bill. we just got another bill for over $2000. not sure where that is going to come from. I don't have a job for July or August, and was told on friday that the student I work with isn't returning, so no job to return to. I put my name into the ring with other applicants for a position starting in sept, we'll see how that works. hubby has no prospects that he is willing to consider, job-wise, but he's looking into going away for a few months to take a course.

I should be able to cobble together some subbing jobs and part-time work over the summer to bring in a bit, and we can cut out a few bills and use the food bank.

I'm dreading the conversations in the next few days as we tackle this though. we get through our relationship by not talking. avoidance is a marriage skill that works for us. working things out has never worked. now that we actually have to come to some decisions, who knows what will happen. i envision total chaos, the end of the world as we know it!

knowing our track record, we will procrastinate long enough that no decisions will need to be made. either things will work out, or matters will be taken out of our hands.

i'm crossing my fingers that the walls of our relationship, our dreams of living in this town, and our selves - our ablity to hold it together, are strong enough to survive this summer.