Fears

Poor little boy. Watched an episode of Doctor Who at dinner, and it happened to be a scary one. Now he's up and scared of zombies. No more Doctor Who for us. I wish we had never let him watch TV - ever, but being the youngest, he gets more, and earlier than the girls did. I totally gave up fighting with hubby about it when he was 3.5 or 4 yrs old - I couldn't do it anymore. And poor little boy is the loser. And of course my feeling sorry for him makes it worse, makes him think that he's right to be scared. Mothers are always wrong and to blame. Everyone says so. Everything is always our fault. No matter what we do. I hate it. Poor little boy.

And big girl had a total meltdown this evening. She is so tired of being "stupid", and is so stressed about school, that the mere thought of bad news laid her out. we didn't even get to talk about it- it wasn't that bad of news, she just lost it at the thought getting the news! She is in therapy to deal with her anxiety and learned tendency to give up. I guess its helping, since she can now express herself, and is getting some confidence in herself. Maybe we will talk about it tomorrow.

And I think I must have Aspergers or something. I find this person stuff too overwhelming. I would much rather just deal with ideas and things. Always have, I guess I always will. I think that's why I like working with babies so much - so much less is demanded mentally from you. I am so tired. My brain just wants to curl up into a ball and suck its thumb.