the deadline (no pun intended)

i have to decide on what to put on christophers gravestone. my dad has paid for it, and has been asking since christmas for the wording. there is still a hole in the ground left for it, and the cemetary people have to fill it in.



and yet i just can't.



its the last thing, and then we're done.



i guess i don't want to be done, because i can't make myself tell my dad to go ahead and do it.


but time has run out, so this is what i'm thinking. i want the words to convey that he changed our world, that we took good things from his being here, rather than negative things.

space is limited.

maybe . . . . 'love endures all things' or 'he touched our hearts'. oh, i know. his grave is next to my nana's, and hers has 'forever in our hearts' under the date. i'll put 'love . . . it lasts forever'.

above the name, where my nana's says 'in loving memory of our dear mom and nana', i'll put 'he touched our hearts'.

i'll run it by hubby tomorrow. he's drunk right now. i was researching fetal alcohol syndrome for my job yesterday, and ran across a chart. he doesn't qualify for an addiction. he's just a heavy drinker.

my mom grew up with a family, extended family, all the people her family hung out with, of alcoholics. she has bad memories. so i grew up thinking that drinking was bad. hubby's family, extended family, friends ect. were all heavy drinkers, only a couple of alcoholics. so they think drinking is okay until it gets out of control.

i know that hubby is drinking a lot, but that he has not crossed into the 'problem' area, so i will relax and not worry so much. he has shown that he can control it when he needs to. and with me always in the background, he will get lots of advance notice when he gets close to crossing the line!! :)